I'm not religious, not in any shape or fashion. So by "GOD" I mean the almighty in which you blame for all the bad and beg to for all the good. So from this point forward in this blog, "GOD" will be referred to as BOB. If I would have thought about it a little longer the title of this posting would have been the name of the blog. One day I promise to go through all these posts and arrange them chronologically because with me as with most everyone else, I feel the backstory is essential.
I ask if BOB is talking to me because I wonder why certain things happen to me. I'm sure everyone has that thought, but is it because you see complete random shit happen? Since you can't answer that, I'll explain my latest odd sighting. I witnessed the disappearance of all testosterone in the blink of an eye. I work as a salesperson so I drive around all day so in sure I have a better chance of seeing weird things but there are certain things you just have to experience yourself. One of those things is the adventure and mixture of pure fear and sheer amazement when you hit a flying animal(s) at 70 mph (See what hitting a chicken at 120 mpg looks like click here). I have had a swarm of crickets try fruitlessly to jump across the highway as I was passing them and my reaction then was much like today when I watch as two birds tried to cross a super busy highway in the middle of the 8th largest city in the U.S. I don't know why it looked possible to an animal whose sole purpose in life is flight but this fat fucking pigeon just slammed into the top of my windshield and made me scream like a 3 year old child.
On a normal day birds are flying all over the place, but those are the majority, what about the minority? The animal world has minorities too. They have defects like three eyes, bad bones, and mentally challenged as well. Well guess what BOB showed me today? He showed me that even birds can have weight problems. If I really think about it, this bird, who we'll call "Pudgy The Pigeon," had a weight issue and had to be a mentally challenged bird. Pudgy wasn't alone but the other bird didn't get hit so I'm thinking Pudgy was a wing man.
So as I'm driving down the highway, I saw the birds flying low and as slow as my brain is, the next 10 seconds seemed to take an hour. My brain hadn't had time to really think about what was happening so as I watched Pudgy start to veer towards me I don't know why but I was automatically starting to feel fear. Thinking back that fear was probably for the bird, which is so unlike me because I truly believe if you are dumb enough to slam yourself into an oncoming truck then you get what you asked for. Fat birds are food for a lazy predators like me, only the strong survive. I'm thankful that the only real adversary man has is the planet herself mother earth, because if I was a pigeon, my name would be Pudgy.
NOTE: I found a video on YouTube that made me look like a big chicken. LoL
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