I should have been more honest with my very first posting but I didn't have the hang of it yet. While I'm not completely sold that I really have any hang of any damn thing, I will try to be more straight forward. Seeing the entire world is my audience, I must help you get to know me and I suggest you sit back have a drink and relax because this will be an interesting read.
I will open the box that is the epitome of Pandora and the twisted in sister, my life as it happened. We won't do the stereotypical childhood shit, we will go straight to the beginning of my children's childhood. My life before children in no way prepared me for a life with them. The answer to a child's question about life should come from an adult and that's not until your 30 (if your a man) so what happens when you start having kids at 16? Well the answer to that is what this blog is all about. If you still don't get why you should continue to read this blog then I will spell it out for you. You will continue to read this blog because you don't know me, but you want to know me because I am the guy that tells the story. I make some completely random choices in life and very strange things happen to me so I'm sure this blog will be great reading. The entire point of life in my humble opinion is relationships. The contact we have with other living beings is " life " and this blog is a short summary of my view of life.
So since we are starting at my teenage years you must first understand that by the time I was 16 I had attended 7 funerals and most of those were close family to include my father. The loss of my father and moving five hours away from what little family i had left made me feel alone and looking for love to fill the holes in my heart. This need to replace the love that I had lost in my family had me more interested in relationships than ever so I was very sexually active. By the time I met Jennifer ( I was 15 ) I had already been intimate with 15 or so women all ranging in age from 14 to 18 so she wasn't the only "adult" just the oldest and first big girl I hooked up with. Now by "big" I mean she was bigger than me but small enough to stay active in the Air Force. So size wise she was 5'8" at 170lbs I'd guess. I only weighed 150lbs at 5'10" so I wouldn't say she was real big but she wasn't the smallest pea in the pod.
Jennifer wasn't the hottest woman no matter the size but she was the magic age of 21. I sold my sex, seed, and the first slice of my soul for free alcohol. What the fuck was I thinking? Now I can get all the alcohol I can drink and only get laid when I apologize for everything I had done since the last time I had sex and this routine can take up a good part of a month. But here I am a fifteen year old horny boy that is being given all the perks of being an adult with out any of the responsibility or consequences. This woman would do everything I asked, why would I have stopped? Since she was so giving and only asked for sex in return, I was an easy sell. What I didn't know then was she had planned on pulling the "trap" on me. The "trap" is what guys call a woman that gets pregnant as a way to keep a man. Minus the whole pregnancy thing, this is every mans dream. I thought I was living the life! Hell the more I think about it the more jealous I am of the younger me. My only question is, how come I didn't use a condom? Why did I listen to that woman? What did I think caused the baby "virus?" Jennifer was in control to be honest because she told me she was catholic and practice the rhythm method. This is the method that follows a woman's menstrual cycle. I couldn't explain it then and I can't explain it now. Jennifer knew she wanted a child and not just in bed, she wanted a baby. After she pulled the trap I started to shy away from her. I stuck around for a few weeks then disappeared until the birth of my first daughter. I went to the hospital the day after my daughter Kloe was born and stayed for a couple of months. Things weren't destined for a story book ending due simply to the fact that I was now 16 years old and I realized I didn't want to grow old with this woman. To be honest, I didn't think I was going to live past 30 and there wasn't a woman alive I wanted for longer than a couple weeks. So Jennifer moved on, she figured she got half of what she wanted so she went to look for the other half. The next few months of my life were a slow downward spiral that I couldn't see or feel. Guidance is the one thing in life I didn't get and still don't have.
